So, tonight I finally found something to write about. I was hanging with the wife and some of her friends just outside of London. Her friends, a very nice couple, had a housewarming party. They just moved into a new home in the suburbs and to top that off, they’re almost five months pregnant. The meal was agreeable – chicken and lamb. The drinks helped wipe away the week’s stress – beer and Pimm’s. We played games, chatted away, had our teas, and eventually it was time to leave.
Upon leaving, the housewarming couple spoke to our other friends, the city-loving-no-kids-just-yet couple. The city couple asked the house couple to go with them to Vegas. Yes, they wanted the nearly five-month pregnant woman to go to Vegas with them. They were asking her to fly nearly 12 hours each way for just three to four nights of “what happens…” She respectfully declined by pointing out the horrible jetlag for only a few nights stay. The desperation in the city couple’s voices came through loud and clear. They kept pushing and pushing her to come. Side note failed to mention: The husband was already going with them. The pregnant woman just smiled and shrugged her shoulders.
Suddenly, this realization hit me like I was swimming in the ocean and a humpback decided to say hello by whacking me with its tail. The birth of their child meant the death of their former existence. They could no longer be like the city-loving-no-kids-just-yet couple. Once that baby is born, they are doomed to forever be “parents”. That’s it. Done and done. It sounds cynical. I’m really not right now. It’s just a realization. That same realization you get the month after graduation. That same realization you get an hour after the first time you have sex. That same realization you get a week after you start your first job. This is kind of awesome but it is fucking scary, too.
In my early 30’s, I know that their future is soon to be my future. It’s something I hope for – something I’ve been looking forward to for the past I-don’t-know-how-long…
And there we were, in that moment. I didn’t know if anyone else could feel it. I sure as hell did. This city couple wanted to hold on to what they had with the suburb couple. They wanted one last GO at it – one last chance to do “What happens…” with their friends. Pregnant for nearly five months, they knew it wasn’t possible. Yet, they hoped for it. They longed for it, because as much as they loved them, they knew the death of their relationship, as they knew it, was fast approaching. If you have friends who have kids, or if you have kids yourself, then you understand. But this moment. This wonderful, bittersweet moment spelt something out for me. It was something I rarely see or notice, even when my brother left the house at 16 to support an unexpected family. In this moment, I felt it. I felt life beginning and ending at the same time, as it always does.
- wear a helmet
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